Monday, August 18, 2008

Wine Scandal at the Summer Olympics

First it was the lip-synching incident that marred the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing. It was revealed that the 9-year-old girl who apparently sang a patriotic song during the ceremonies was in fact lip synching the vocals that really were done by a 7-year-old. Because the 9-year-old was deemed more attractive and a "better actress," she got the exposure while her counterpart stood backstage.

Now another investigation has disclosed that the magnificent wine served to members of the ruling party and foreign dignitaries at the opening banquet (shown pictured above), whose label translates as "Most Auspicious Good Fortune Wine of Character Vintage 1888," was really 1958 Chateau Latour (pictured below).

Chinese officials explained it as follows:

As you can see, the Chateau Latour comes in a very plain bottle. The wine inside is most magnificent but the bottle is not. Therefore we presented the wine in a container more fitting of its regal status and that way the outside is as magnificent as the inside. Because we have more gold medals than anyone, I believe we are justified in doing this, am I correct?

The British media has been especially critical of Chinese practices during the events, slamming them for the switch of the girl singers, use of fake digitized fireworks, and now the wine switcheroo. A prominent journalist, under condition of anonymity, disclosed to this reporter that the Chinese have discovered a way to transfer the soul of a 22 year old girl into the body of a 10 year old to achieve the most efficient combination of experience and physical agility for their women gymnastics team. A Chinese official defended this practice as well, saying that the average of the two ages equals 16 years, which meets the requirements of the Olympic rules and regulations.

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