Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Local Wine Icon Signed For Next Indy Pic

Riding high on the huge box office take during the Memorial Day weekend premier of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Paramount Pictures announced today that it has signed Harrison Ford for yet another sequel in the enormously popular Indiana Jones series.

Indiana Jones and the Chateau of Shadows is set to begin filming sometime later this year. For the first time in the series, CGI will be employed to render one of the leading characters: Budo Kun, a well-known icon in the wine world, has been signed to play Indy's sidekick in the upcoming 5th chapter of the series.

Chateau of Shadows centers around the Bordeaux region of France, circa 1959. Indy has recently acquired a taste for fine wine and as a result, has exchanged his pursuit of rare archaeological treasures for an unquenchable thirst for rare wines.

Using the same techniques he employed to unearth finds such as the Ark of the Ten Commandments, the Holy Grail, and the Crystal Skull, Indy's attention is now focused on unearthing the world's greatest wines.

Intrigued by rumors of an ancient Bordeaux chateau still producing pre-phylloxera wines that are said to give eternal life to those who drink them, Indy enlists the aid of fellow treasure hunter and reknown wine expert Budo Kun to find this chateau and sample the elixir it produces.

As in every good action movie there has to be an antagonist and this is played to the hilt by Ruben the Rubber Chicken, who hams (fowls?) it up by foiling the protagonists efforts at every turn.

Given that both Budo Kun and Ruben the Rubber Chicken will have to be computer-generated onto the screen, this gives the producers even more license than ever to plaster the movie with special effects, often to the detriment of the plot.

When asked about the excessive special effects, a spokesperson for Paramount had this to say: "Yes it is true, there are a ton of special effects. But that is what people want to see. They need something big and bold to hit them in the face and get their attention these days. We thought that would make a good analogy with what is happening in the wine world as well as American Idol. We're only reflecting reality."

The preliminary tagline for the movie was also announced: Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man? The chateau do!

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