Monday, May 5, 2008

J. Addison Presents Digital Wine


J. Addison has once again raised the bar for innovation and quality in the wine world. Let’s hear what he has to say, in his own words:
Greetings, fellow winophiles, J. Addison the Wino Hedonist here. Yes, you haven’t heard from me for a while but it was not because I was on a drinking binge somewhere, lost in an alcoholic stupor. No, I was hard at work, engaged with my lab technicians to develop the next great breakthrough in the wine world.

I hereby announce, for the betterment of all mankind (and womankind), the age of digital wine!

That is correct, digital wine. Up to this point, all wine made throughout history has been of the analog variety. Not that there is anything wrong with that, since by necessity that was the only type of wine that could be produced. But advances in technology have now allowed a change in the course of history and have enabled the first digital wine to be bottled.

What is the difference between the two? Like night and day! Let me give you an illustration. Television, for example. Analog reception is like using rabbit ear antennae and having to keep twisting it around. Yet no matter how much you twist it around, your picture is never completely clear. Instead there is fuzz, ghosting, and other annoying elements. With digital television, the picture is crystal clear and precise.

Same with vinyl records and their pops and ticks, not to mention scratches, or eight track tapes with all the background hiss. But with digital recordings you get none of that, just pure, clean sound.

And with my new digital wines, you get none of the faults of wine. You only get pure, clean, taste. Corkiness is an analog trait. Zap, zippo, gone. Digital wines cannot get corked. What you get is pure varietal character, excellent aging capabilities because analog faults are not present within the wine to promote premature aging, and overall a much better tasting experience.

Along with these digital wines comes my special digital tasting glasses. Yes, you can still use regular analog glasses to taste digital wine but you are limiting the wine’s potential by doing so. For those of you who will stop at nothing to gain the height of a wine’s enjoyment, let me just say that the combination of my new digital wine, drunk from my new digital glass, is an experience that cannot be surpassed.

I invite each and every one of you to partake of the experience and be a part of history. How much does history cost? What price perfection? Let’s not worry about the price right now but do bring your wallets. I am giving you more of what you have all come to expect from J. Addison, the Wino Hedonist!

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