Sunday, March 30, 2008

Budo Kun Hauled Into Court

Budo Kun went before the judge today to answer the charges against him.

Below: footage of the activity taking place in the hall adjacent to the courtroom. If you can't see the video screen below, please click here.

Hardly known just a week ago, Budo Kun has now become practically a household word throughout the globe as the world community now anxiously waits to hear the fate of Domaine547’s little perverted fugitive as he is brought to trial.

Captured by police when his stolen vehicle ran out of gas, little Budo Kun was nearly shot but was spared thanks to the warnings of famous scientist Dr. Werner Bebenheimerschmidt.

“Ze warning zabout becoming more powerful than ve can pozzibly e-magine iz true,” Dr. Bebenheimerschmidt yelled at the officers surrounding the escapee. “If you shoot him, he vill split into zillions of pieces all running around ze place and you vill never scoop zem all up! Und ve do not have time to vait for Raid to invent ze Budo Kun Motel to trap zem all!”

“Trust me!” continued Bebeheimerschmidt, “I vas ze consulting scientist for The Giant Behemothund Ze Beast From 20,000 Fathomsas vell as Ze Beginning of the Endund Them!I know vat I am talking zabout!”

After hearing the renown scientist’s warning, the police decided to take Budo Kun alive, instead.

Now we take you to the courtroom where Budo Kun’s attorney, Gloria Allmad, is speaking.

Gloria: Now Budo Kun, please explain to the court why you behaved as you did.

Budo Kun: I was mad. I am just a meek little thing who tries to be good but everyone kept asking me if I was male or female or both or none or it, and finally, I, I… I just couldn’t take it anymore! I had to do something to demonstrate that I am a male. In other words, to show that I can’t control my desires!

Gloria: I’m sorry I have to bring up such unpleasantries, but we must get at the truth in order for the jury to see that you are an innocent victim. So, Budo Kun, what you are saying is that you are really a meek and mild-mannered individual, and that you are not a notorious pervert?

Budo Kun: That’s correct. I am very sorry for getting upset. But people kept calling me all kinds of names. I tried to correct them.

Gloria: Like what sort of names?

Budo Kun: Someone even called me an elephant! I said, "I am not an elephant! I am a Budo Kun!"

Gloria: So all of this goading and harassment caused you to fly into a rage, then? You must have been way outside of your normal character.

Budo Kun: Yes, I was. I can never remember acting that way. It was not like me at all.

Gloria: In fact, ladies and gentlemen of the jury and your Esteemed Highness Honor Magistrate, I would like to submit that poor little Budo Kun actually took on a different personality because of the savage, merciless treatment he received at the hands of vicious other persons!

Esteemed Highness Honor Magistrate: What exactly do you mean, Ms. Allmad?

Gloria: I mean that the person committing these perverted acts was not really Budo Kun, but an evil character that temporarily took over: Bizarro Kun!

(courtroom gasps)

Esteemed Highness Honor Magistrate: Bizarro Kun??

Gloria: Yes, your Honor. It was not sweet innocent Budo Kun that did funny things with Little Penguin and Yellow Tail, but in fact it was the evil alter-ego Bizarro Kun that emerged!

(courtroom is abuzz)

Esteemed Highness Honor Magistrate: Order in the court! Order in the court!

Gloria: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, listen carefully. You have seen and heard this polite little creature named Budo Kun testify in this trial. Is it even remotely possible that he could be the same creature who committed those lewd and perverse acts upon these other creatures who were probably asking for it anyway?

Such behavior is absolutely not in the character of my mild-mannered client. And I know that you will agree with me. Therefore, knowing this, you cannot possibly find my client guilty of the charges against him. It is very simple:

If the personality don’t fit, you must acquit!!!

(courtroom is abuzz again)

Esteemed Highness Honor Magistrate: The courtroom will pipe down! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard the testimony as well as the arguments from the attorneys. It is now time for you to decide whether or not the defendant, Budo Kun, is guilty of the charges against him.

Stay tuned for more on-the-spot coverage…

1 comment:

wild walla walla wine woman said...

Budo Kun's theme song is very worthy. If Gloria Allmad can't get Budo Kun acquitted, perhaps he will need a real wine attorney - Gloria All-red