Tuesday, March 4, 2008

The 2008 Fictional Character Wine Taste-Off

The 2008 Fictional Character Wine Taste-Off is down to the final four teams. The contestants:

The Skipper and Gilligan: Armed with a secret weapon, this unlikely duo breezed past what were considered much more worthy contenders to earn their place in the final four.

The secret weapon? A machine constructed by the Professor that identifies the grape type, vintage and even the producer of whatever wine is poured into its funneled opening. The Skipper and Gilligan have managed to surreptitiously slip a sample into the wine machine in each round and the machine has been perfect so far.

Frazier and Niles Crane: The two fussbudgets were the early odds-on favorites to win the competition and have not disappointed anyone so far. Their astounding knowledge as well as acute sensory talents have enabled them to trounce whatever competition has been thrown up against them to this point in time.

Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi: Don’t underestimate the power of the mysterious energy known as the Force. At the beginning of the competition Luke was having difficulty identifying even simple wines but was quickly put on the right track through the coaching of his partner and mentor, Obi-Wan.

“Close your eyes, Luke. Use the Force and let the wine flow through you,” urged Obi-Wan, and apparently it worked. The two of them have been dead-on the entire time.

Homer Simpson and Montgomery Burns: They have been the true upstarts in the competition. Burns, who is barely able to lift a glass of wine more than ¼ full, and his dense, easily distracted partner Homer, have surprised everyone.

As Mr. Burns explains it: “This Simpson fellow is a total moron but when it comes to wine he is an idiot savant. Somehow he tastes the wine and instantly knows exactly what it is. Now if only he would stop with that inane 'Woo Hoo' after each taste I would be a happy man.”

Favorites and long shots, they’ve all gotten to the final four. Who will prevail? Stay tuned as we provide continuing coverage of the competition.

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