Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Le Nez Du Herbe

J. Addison of the Wino Hedonist returns today with another incredible product.

Wine Lovers: I am here to introduce to you the next product from the Wino Hedonist that will immeasurably enhance your total wine experience.

Are you a fan of the wildly popular New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs? Or any Sauvignon Blancs for that matter? Then this product is for you.

As you well know, one of the main varietal characteristics of the Sauvignon Blanc grape when made into wine is described most frequently as “grassy” by tasters.

But just what exactly do they mean by “grassy?” There are all kinds of grass. There is Bentgrass, Bluegrass, Ryegrass, Bermuda, St. Augustine, etc. If you really want to describe your glass of Sauvignon Blanc in an accurate manner, then it simply will not suffice to refer to it as “grassy.” No, my friend, you need to be more specific and that is where I, J. Addison, will enable you to become an expert.

I present for your sensory enjoyment my latest treasure, “Le Nez du Herbe.”

Assembled for the first time anywhere, a training kit that will enable you to discern the subtle and perhaps not-so-subtle differences between the different types of grasses. No more will you look like a generic fool at a tasting of Sauvignon Blancs, you will make the others appear that way!

In my Le Nez du Herbe kit are vials containing liquids of the aromatic essence of the following types of grass:

Perennial Ryegrass
Fine Fescue
Tall Fescue
St. Augustine

The vials are packaged in a handsome slipcase binder, along with full descriptions on reinforced index cards, and an attractive booklet.

You will find the quality second to none. Naturally I guarantee your satisfaction. The price for Le Nez du Herbe, including shipping, is a very reasonable $568.57.

But wait, that’s not all. If you order on or before January 31, 2008, I will also include the La Tache du Herbe accessory kit as well. These are laminated cards that show exactly what the stains of each type of grass look like on white pants. This may come in handy in case you are involved in a police investigation and must confirm your whereabouts when the crime took place (e.g., “I was not in that part of town because these are Bermuda stains on my pants and no one grows that type of grass over there.”)

Limited supplies, act quickly.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would balk at the price of your kit, J. Addy, but I'll assume that's due to the cost of obtaining a synthesized substitute of that last "grassy" item on the list. :)