Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Wine Capsule Jackets from The Wino Hedonist

It seems that with each day J. Addision, The Wino Hedonist, unveils a wine-enhancement product that tops the previous day. Stunningly simple, yet poised at the forefront of technology, we now present for your discriminatiing review another marvel to facilitate evolution within the wine world.

Breathable Wine Capsule Jackets:

What are the biggest enemies of wine? Heat and air. Too much of either and you’ve got a bottle gone bad, badder than Lindsay Lohan, even. There’s nothing we can do about heat – that’s up to you, but we can help you with the air part of it.

Air, of course, causes wine to oxidize. However, in ways that we do not fully understand, air also participates in a wine’s developmental process; no matter how tightly sealed the bottle may be, a minute amount of air still somehow manages to infiltrate the bottle.

Our Breathable Wine Capsule Jackets are specially designed from a patented blended synthetic material to allow precisely the right amount of air contact with the wine capsule to promote optimum development of the precious juice within. No more and no less.

Our capsules come in a group of five. Simply snip off one from the base “hand” to use (see picture).

Take the membrane capsule, place it tightly over the bottle’s capsule (to expel any air) and then press the seal/adhesive around the borders to form a complete seal for your valuable bottle. Thereafter, the Capsule Jacket’s patented film will enable the proper air flow to and from the bottle.

Our Capsule Jackets are guaranteed to outlast any bottle of wine since they are absolutely non bio-degradable and 100% environmentally hostile. Lest you think that speaks unfavorably of our product, let us remind you that wine bottle capsules frequently contain more lead than a Mattel toy and therefore our product is sealing that lead from your environment. Because of this, there is no need for you to contact Al Gore or purchase any carbon offsets along with our product.

Small quantity package of capsules: 100 for $45.99 (5 capsules per each “hand,” i.e., 20 hands).

Large quantity package of capsules: 500 for $202.99 (5 capsules per each “hand,” i.e., 100 hands).

No comments: