Today marks the unveiling of J. Addison's Wino Hedonist product number 4 that is specifically designed to enhance your wine experience. Please welcome the:
Wine Refrigerator Power Filter and Conditioner
If you use a standalone wine refrigeration unit, it must surely run on electricity. And if it runs on electricity, are you aware of how “dirty” the electric power can be in a typical city?
Brownouts, power spikes, inconsistent voltage – why, you would be aghast if you could see a graphical depiction of just how much your power fluctuates throughout the day.
And you are trusting this very power to feed your wine refrigeration unit, the very unit in which your precious, pampered wine collection is stored? Compare it to the man who is fed an inconsistent, unhealthy diet: when he is at work, he staggers, failing to properly attend to his duties because his body is not functioning properly. Give him any discerning task and he will complete it in a most incompetent manner. On the other hand, supply this man with a rich, well-balanced diet full of nutrients and he will excel in his duties.
The same goes for your wine refrigeration unit. Remember, garbage in, garbage out. How can it possibly care for your wines it you are not giving it the type of electricity it deserves?
Our heavy-duty Power Filter and Conditioner cleans up the dirtiest electricity you can give it, and transforms it into pure, rich power that your wine refrigerator will be most happy to consume. It will thank you and your wines will thank you.
The unit also comes with a detailed set of instructions showing you the precise orientation of the unit with respect to the earth's magnetic pole, along with the appropriate angle adjustments to make during periods of daylight savings time as well as leap years.
Power Filter and Conditioner: $1,495.00, plus applicable taxes, shipping and handling.
On a more serious note, I apologize but there is no One Wine Per Week review this week, mainly because I didn't drink anything. Ah, the woes of recovering from surgery! However, I fully expect to pop a cork next week and have a review for you like the old days, so stay tuned.
Meanwhile you will just have to put up with J. Addison and his wine voodoo, uh, enhancement products.