Thursday, October 25, 2007

Connoisseur Sensory Evaluation Enhancer

At the left you see just part of today's offering from J.Addison, The Wine Hedonist whose unparalleled expertise in the field of wine-enhancement products is now being revealed to wine enthusiasts all over the world.

Please read on for details of today's incredible product - actually, a suite of products carefully assembled to complement one another to the utmost degree. Would you expect anything less from J. Addison?

And now we are most pleased to present:

Connoisseur Sensory Evaluation Enhancer:

You know how critical it is to be able to properly evaluate a wine. You must be able to effectively judge its appearance. You must evaluate its aromas. And finally, you must be able to properly taste the wine. Doing this accurately requires that your sense of sight, smell and taste be in good order.

How do you prepare your senses for tasting? Do you prepare at all? Tasting can place an overwhelming strain upon your senses and you must ensure that you engage in the right preparation. We are not talking about trivial things such as rinsing out your mouth with water, or eating a neutral biscuit or piece of bread between wines; we are talking about a method that will assure you of each sense being finely in tune as it needs to be when subjecting the wine in glass to a critical evaluation.

Our Connoisseur Sensory Evaluation Enhancer consists of components specially designed to put you at an optimum level for the task at hand.

Eye Deglazer: one drop in each eye will ensure that you can accurately perceive the hue of the wine without alteration or perversion from dust and other impurities on your eyeballs. This patented solution has been calibrated to cleanse the eye and leave it streak-free, ready to gauge the color of even the most delicately hued sauvignon blanc or chenin blanc.

Nose Amplifier: one drop in each nostril and then a sharp blow into a handkerchief will insure that your inner nostrils have complete, full contact with the surrounding air with no foreign particles to interfere with even the most delicate aromas from reaching your sensory spots.

Mouth Purifier: gargle and rinse with one ounce of this highly effective solution to neutralize all foreign materials present in your mouth that will inhibit you from experiencing the full force of flavors that are present in the wine you are tasting. Carefully pH balanced so that it is neither acidic or alkaline, this perfectly blended concoction of all organic and natural ingredients places your mouth up there with the most expert of tasters. We highly recommend a one ounce rinse after each wine tasted as a palate refresher of the maximum order.

Because of the complimentary nature of your senses, these three components are offered only as a set; quantities have been carefully calibrated to last an equal number of tastings.

But wait, there is more. For a limited time only we will include, free of charge, a hand-stem pressure gauge that incorporates and optimizes your tactile sense, as well (see above picture).

We know that tension and stress can cause you to make what may turn out to be a critical misjudgment. Don’t let that happen when you are doing something as important as tasting and evaluating wine. You may not even realize how stressed out your body may be, but it will reveal itself by how tightly you grasp the stem of your wine glass.

Our Tactile Sensometer is a compact band that wraps around the stem of your glass where you grasp it with your fingers. When you place your fingers on this band, it automatically measures the amount of pressure being exerted, and the band changes colors to tell you if you are holding it too tightly, loosely, or just right.

Red means you need to loosen your grip, you are too tense and will not be tasting the wine properly.

Blue means you are too loose and will probably drop the glass if you attempt to pick it up. Thus, you need to tighten your grip.

Green means go – you are holding the stem with the optimum finger pressure to conduct an accurate, effective tasting.

We are selling the Connoisseur Sensory Evaluation Enhancer, including for a limited time the Tactile Sensometer, for $269.99. Each kit is good for 100 tastings.

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