Thursday, October 18, 2007

Bottle Strategic Markers from the Wino Hedonist

Today we unveil revolutionary, incredible wine-enhancement product number 3 from The Wino Hedonist.

Bottle Strategic Markers

It is a well-established fact that coloring the edge of a CD (compact disc) with a green felt marker will result in an improvement of sound from that CD. The physics involved in this documented phenomenon are too complex to be described here, but the same concept can be applied to coloring strategic places on the bottles holding your valuable wine collection in order to promote an incredibly heightened development of that wine.

Unlike the simple process of coloring the entire edge of a CD, however, the optimal development of the wine in bottle depends upon strategically placed streaks and symbols on that bottle with a marker of a precise color tailored to the type of wine.

In other words, the symbols you make and the color used for a bottle of Chateau Margaux may be the same as for a Chateau Mouton since both are Bordeaux, but you would use an entirely different strategy for a bottle of Chambertin.

J. Addison, the Wino Hedonist, has perfected his wine bottle strategy over many years and is now offering them to you. Kits have been developed for several of the worlds finest wines; each kit contains a marker of the precise color (one marker contains sufficient ink for at least 50 bottles), along with an instruction manual that shows you exactly what symbols or figures to use on the bottle and the exact placement of those symbols and/or figures.

Once you have properly marked your bottles, you can expect a noticeable improvement of the wine after even a week or two. However, it is highly recommended that you wait much longer than that; holding the wine to its anticipated maturity will yield the most favorable results.

The special markings may be applied either before or after the Wino Hedonist’s Bottle Enhancing Polish, although it is recommended that you apply the markings prior to the polish for the cleanest effect.

The currently available kits include:

Bordeaux
Burgundy
Cote Rotie
Italian Superstar Cabernet Blends
California Pinot Noir over $50

More kits are underway; please be patient. Each existing kit, with enough ink for at least 50 bottles, can be obtained for a most reasonable cost of $495.99.

No comments: